Buns of Steel Leave Rock Fan Cold

By: Michael Seinberg

rock concertWhen Vicki Calcagno attended a 2004 NY State Fair concert by 80’s legend Rick Springfield, she didn’t bargain for how up close and personal things would get.  According to the lawsuit she filed in 2007 (a full 3 years later!) she was struck by the star’s magnificent buttocks and rendered unconscious for some 10-30 minutes.

She bolstered her story by showing a photo of the alleged buns that she shot just before being laid low by them. But things took a turn for the strange thereafter. She claimed that after waking up from her bottom induced nap, she continued to take more photos (hopefully of more than just his derriere) and then didn’t report any problem to anyone for several days.

Eventually, she claimed, she suffered a concussion and permanent injuries as a result of her contact with Springfield’s buns of steel. She maintained he was negligent because he was jumping on chairs and benches during the concert.

Now we fast forward to 2013 where this farce of a trial actually took place in Syracuse, NY and things really get silly. After testimony from Calcagno and Springfield, who claims he pretty much has no memory of the incident either (maybe he booty bumped himself in the head) things were looking like they were settled. But then surprise witnesses were suddenly discovered who claim they were sitting near the plaintiff and also came in contact with Springfield’s extraordinary back side.

The judge offered Springfield’s attorneys 24 hours to prepare for this shocking new evidence but they asked for a mistrial, which the judge granted. It will now likely be several months before we can get to the bottom of this case.

In the meantime, it will give the public a chance to ruminate on why New York taxpayers are paying for this ridiculous case that will likely provide fodder for late night TV hosts for the next few weeks. This lawsuit will enrich several lawyers while draining the pockets of taxpayers and cause the iron-bottomed star to have to continue touring to support his family in light of this assault on his finances. Let’s just hope when Ms. Calcagno attends her next concert she either sits further back from the stage or wears a helmet.

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