Doctor, It Hurts When I Do This!

By: Michael Seinberg

“Doctor, it hurts when I do this,” said the patient.

“Well, then don’t do that,” said the doctor. Old joke, we’ve all heard it except maybe for Mirit Rose Jaron, of East Greenbush, NY who seems to be living it. Ms. Jaron is suing the city and Central Amusements International, the company that runs the rides at Coney Island because she claims she was injured on September 17, 2011 (over a year ago for you calendar watchers) when she rode the Cyclone.

For non-roller coaster fans, the Cyclone is a legendary 85-year old ride that generations of people have ridden without filing lawsuits. Some have even ridden it multiple times, litigation free. In any case, Ms. Jaron claims that on her fateful ride (no word on whether her lawyer was with her at the time) she was injured when the coaster took a steep drop at high speed. Ummm, that’s what roller coasters do…..

Anyway, her suit claims that she suffered “serious and permanent” injuries, though it doesn’t actually say what they were. She further claims the operators allowed the coaster to operate at, “A dangerous, excessive and unsafe rate of speed.” Isn’t  the whole point of riding a roller coaster a controlled adrenaline rush without the danger of a speeding ticket?

Just to add insult to alleged injury, Ms. Jaron also claims that the folks running the ride failed to, “Safeguard the life and limb of riders,” and didn’t, “have seating in the roller coaster with proper neck and head support.” Lady, the coaster is 85 years old! You, are 28. Do we see a problem here? To cut to the chase, a young healthy person gets on a ride designed to hurtle you around at high speed. It’s been doing so with no major incidents for the better part of a century but suddenly it’s dangerous?

I think we can all agree that this is a yet another example of a greedy lawyer and client looking to sue our cities and empty out their pockets. With no specific injuries listed, 14 months of elapsed time and a defendant that is self-insured, this one ought to end up in the dictionary as a definition of frivolous lawsuit. Next she’ll be suing Nathan’s because the hot dog she upchucked after her ride on the Cyclone didn’t taste as good coming up as it did going down.

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