82-Year-Old Assaulted by Rogue Tuna Files Suit

By: Michael Seinberg

When 82-year old Tatiana Strage entered the Trader Joe’s on 72nd Street on the Upper West Side of Manhattan last February, she had no idea she was in imminent danger. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a rogue can of tuna flew from a shelf and struck her on the bridge of the nose.

Instead of jumping to her rescue, subduing the vicious can, and calling EMTs, she claims two Trader Joe’s employees just stood around and watched. Well, ok, they did get her wipes and a Band-Aid (hopefully it contained organic cotton). All this time, she claims she was complaining of head pain, dizziness, and her nose was bleeding. One report describes her injury as a gash.

So now, months later, still suffering from a severe fear of tuna and afraid to leave the house, she has decided that her only course of action is (wait for it) a lawsuit! That’s right, she is suing Trader Joe’s for $350,000. According to her son (and attorney) Michael Strage, “As she was going for some canned goods, a stack of tuna fish cans that was well above eye level fell, and one of them struck her in the eye and the nose.” He added that the employees in question showed indifference to her injuries.

So just to make sure we have this straight, an 82-year-old frequent customer who was quite familiar with the store, its wares and its shelves, reaches up to get a can of tuna, knocks the pile over, nails herself in the face with a can and then sues the store. She’s severely traumatized by the incident but still manages, some 8 months later to drag her quivering, fearful form out long enough to get her son to file a lawsuit. This is just another suit that should result in her being billed for the court’s time, her son being censured, and her being publicly ridiculed.

“Sue” York City does not need this, the taxpayers don’t need this, and the courts don’t need this. And let’s be honest, it gives canned tuna a bad name which it doesn’t deserve.

 

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