The Ride of His Life

By: Michael Seinberg

It seems that California motorcyclist Henry Wolf has either discovered the fountain of youth or the key to adult film stardom. According to a lawsuit filed by Mr. Wolf, he has been “suffering” from a constant and persistent erection for the last 20 months. Why? How? Did he have to have special pants made? Too many little blue pills?

Mr. Wolf traces the problem to a motorcycle ride he took in 2010. He claims that after taking a four-hour ride on his 1993 BMW, which he equipped with an aftermarket seat made by well-known supplier Corbin-Pacific, he has been “at attention” ever since. This seems a little hard to believe in that BMW motorcycles are known to be some of the smoothest machines out there and Corbin has been successfully making aftermarket motorcycle seats since 1968 with no apparent reports of extreme rigidity issues.

In fact, medical evidence has shown that prolonged use of overly hard bicycle seats can cause numbness or even erectile dysfunction due to damage to the pudendal nerve. It also begs the question of why he chose this seat, paid for it, installed it and then kept using it. Corbin seats are not cheap.

If Mr. Wolf has been “excited” for 20 months straight, wouldn’t he have just passed out some time ago? Lack of blood supply to the brain has some serious implications. It could lead one to do all sorts of silly things, like file ridiculous lawsuits. Mr. Wolf claims that in his case, the Corbin seat has rendered him, “Unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish.”  He is seeking compensation from both BMW and Corbin for lost wages, medical expenses, emotional distress and “general damage.”

You can’t make this stuff up.  Court watchers are rigid with anticipation over this case.

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